Packing Emotional Bric-A-Brac

IMG_20140622_165108Here I was taking a break after an afternoon of packing what I call emotional bric-a-brac. In truth, I was packing books and tons of art supplies. I’m used to moving but packing will always be an emotional experience, especially this time around. IMG_20140622_165146

I love my place. I moved here as a single mom with my daughter with so much hope and dreams. We wanted it to be a little nutshell of art. I spent hours painting while she watched or drew beside me. I packed all the drawings I saw today. I don’t have the heart to throw out any of her cute doodles. Like me, she puts so much heart and soul into them.

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2009
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She does her thing, I do mine.
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It was just you, me and our fake poodle, kid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Art was always something we both anchored on to cope. It made me cope with the rigors of a single momhood and it paid for some of our monthly needs. I love my place because I spent hours, days of just being lost in painting and writing. I was who I felt I was meant to be, and not just a working mom and now a wife. Those two roles have the habit of taking over one’s life and you really have to pull yourself back and say:

“That’s not me. I’m not just a working mom and wife.” In my head, those are just roles and not the end all and be all of my whole being.

As time goes by, you have to pull harder..or you get lost. I look at the empty canvasses and I know I was lost for a while. I had all sorts of reasons: too busy, have errands, no space, too sick, too tired, mom duties, wife duties, too lazy. Basically, everything under the sun.

I found myself again as I packed every memory filled painting, every single acrylic, brush, watercolors, invites to do exhibits and published articles.

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So much paint, so little time.
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Good Housekeeping, March 2010
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Paintings and empty canvasses.

I found myself as I stared at the empty canvasses strewn at the hallway. I cry and tell my husband “Don’t allow me to be just a mom and wife, okay? Don’t let me be just this. It makes me sad.”

I have to start all over again and this time around, I’m not alone. I’m packing with my daughter, husband, a poodle and a pomeranian puppy (our new baby). We’re moving to a better place full of love and art. More than this place will ever have.

We better get those creative juices going.

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My Butt In a Rut

It’s been tough to write lately. Not because nothing has been happening but more of the fact that too many things have been happening. The past 3 months feel like the gods have been conspiring against me. They decided to draw lots and picked my name as to who they should torture the most.

I know that this will soon pass. Things would fall into place eventually and karma would hit the people who made me feel terrible big time. When I say big time, I mean have boils grow all over their body, have someone prick every single one and push them in the ocean until every single raw boil gets filled up with painful saline again. Yes, I was that annoyed for a while. That’s even a less painful route. I would have wanted a Game Of Thrones twist and have someone’s head explode into smithereens…and I’ll have a smug smile like Cersei Lannister.

Obviously, I have anger management issues. I do. So I told myself that I shall try to be productive instead of destructive

Since I can’t write coherently right now, I will just do a random list of articles people request me to write about or I want to write about:

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Make-up must be explained sometimes.

 

  • Make- up Tutorial for the Lazy Woman – Yes, I might do this and I know I promised some people that I would but I had a really bad allergy attack right on my face a couple of weeks ago. Contact dermatitis so bad that I wanted to walk around with a paper bag over my head. So doing a naked face on the net is not a very good idea..but then,it could go viral..let me think about this.
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This on my face. All over my face. Gawd.
  • Allergy Attack from Hades – I’m still battling what has brought me so much hell and torture the past 3 weeks. It’s right smack on my face and I’m not ready to show the pictures of what happened on my blog yet.I have the best dermatologist working on it but I’ll post when I’m healed and back to normal. The pictures you see on Instagram are examples of my bad ass make-up skills with industrial strength concealer. Everyday, I have to spend 30 minutes taking all this gunk off.

Don’t ask “Why not go out without make up? Isn’t it going to make it worse?”. Don’t even go there.

You know who they are. Image: theconversation.com
You know who they are. Image: theconversation.com
  • Workplace Bullies – I used to be a bully of the worst kind. Tiny girl with a big voice, words that hurt, chop and dice people and can roll her eyes like there was no tomorrow. I learned and grew up to be what I call a semblance of a better person. Unfortunately, not everyone grows up and there are tons of work place bullies out there. Sad part is that they just learned to be bullies at work..position and new found power does that. Sad..so tempting to crush like a beetle on the hot pavement. So easy to eliminate. Really. But I’m supposed to be a better person now. *sigh* I say better person because really, I can’t be a bigger person. I’m 5.2”. I hate workplace bullies especially if they bully people who matter to me.
One of her drawings under the "Nomnom" Collection aka us eating.
One of her drawings under the “Nomnom” Collection aka us eating.
  • Bea’s Art – I’ve posted several of my 10 year old daughter’s artworks and have had several requests to feature them and several order requests (She says she’s not ready to sell yet). I’ll post this on the next article. Hey, I’m a proud mom. Sue me.

Okay..those are some of the things I plan to write about as soon as I get out of this rut I am in. If you have more suggestions of things I should write about, just leave me a note. Maybe it will distract me and make me feel better.

Zee