Turning 39 Birthday Blues

I dread birthdays and mine is coming up in a few days. I’ll be honest, I’m scared of aging. Not just in a physical sense but more of the fact that I really want to grow old with my daughter and pursue the many things I want to do and fulfill in my life. Welcome to my annual birthday blues post.

zeeold
30 years from now according to Aging Booth app and if I remain untouched by..err.. facial enhancements.

Wrinkles are fine but I don’t plan to just go without a fight. I will continue to marinate myself with argan oil and rosehip oil every night and slather sunblock every day! Like aged rib eye steak! We shall tap into more drastic methods if we need to!  Those botox injections were not just created to stop your armpits from sweating, you know! Though the show “Botched” scares the heck out of me. I think looking like a weird cat woman scares me more than the wrinkling.

What scares me the most would be the lower level of activity in the future as I can already feel my muscles and bones creak because of the lack of exercise. I see articles of 70, even 90 year olds pushing their limits and doing gymnastics and marathons and all I can say to myself would be “What’s my excuse?”.

Like this 86 year old gymnast with a Guiness World Record. You go, grandma!

I guess for the last year of being in my 30’s, I better push myself some more so that I can physically sustain myself for 40 more years or so. Haha.

I have a 12 year old and I had a really bad health scare from 2011 to 2013. It was something we had to overcome as a family and what gave me hope was my little girl. She is turning out to be a very conscientious and responsible young woman and I want to be there for her when she has many more “firsts” in life like stalking her and her date during the prom. I want to continue to support her and reassure her (because she can be quite anxious) when things are not going too well and even if they are doing great. I want to continue to be her biggest cheerleader and ally for as long as I can. Go, Team Bea!

Plans. Sometimes they happen, sometimes they don’t. Either way, it’s nice to plan and dream. My hubby and I have a lot of plans and dreams.
He wants to watch Wrestlemania and I want to try out the restaurants on Man versus Food, be a full time artist or work in the beauty industy and be surrounded by beauty products (Hey, it’s a dream. ).

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We talk about them before sleeping at night. I’ve learned to let go of my dreams and just be surprised and happy with what comes my way. It’s so much easier (and less stressful) that way. My husband taught me that. I used to plan and obsess and make sure things happen. Life was plotted on an excel sheet and everything documented and listed down to make sure my plans happened. I lived this way for the longest time and more often than not, I got the things I wanted. You get what you want but it does not necessarily mean you’re happy. I would rather be happy. Still, we plan, prepare what we can and pray it does happen. Hopefully, we have 40 more years to fulfill them.

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Wheelchair races at 85?

If there is anything I have not been too happy about, it is the past several years of inactivity. I have learned to fall in love with sleep and just staying home doing nothing. Now, it’s so hard to go back to being active again. It’s so hard to push myself again. Good health it seems is the key to not fearing the aging process. I know I have to start now, before it’s too late and totally give up on it altogether or my body gives up on me.

Haay…If I’m scared now, I will probably have an anxiety attack when I hit the big 4-0.

 

ZEE

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