I’ve been working at home for five months now. I appreciate the fact that I get to spend time with my family and most of all, my daughter. I have been working in pretty hectic jobs the past 20 years and have missed a lot of milestones and even little moments of her life like picking her up from school or cooking for her. I have been able to finally do this now.
A few months ago, someone asked me “Don’t you think it’s too late to be a work-at-home mom and stay with your child?”
That question was difficult to answer. I was torn. My daughter has her own life now and spends time talking to her friends and her world has expanded externally and not just family. She is a budding teen and loves her privacy already. She will always be my baby and that question made me wonder if I made the right decision. So I really pondered over it and discussed it on my video.
I just turned 40 this week. What a big number. Currently, my life is helter-skelter from how it used to be and you know, I love it.
I wanted to do something new and my husband gave me a new camera. He has been encouraging me to start vlogging on my You Tube channel and so I did. Focusing on this project pushes me to get out of our place and explore. I’ve been in the dumps lately and it takes a lot for me to just go out and do things. I’m more a miser now than I ever was.
My husband and daughter have been really supportive and have been cheering me on as I try to get out of this rut. They’re great cheerleaders. I love them to bits.
Vlogging is quite different and talking by myself in an empty room was a bit awkward but I tried. Right now, trying to do new things is the most important thing for me. I’ll probably link my vlogs to this site and do videos twice a week.
So here you go guys, click on the link below my first vlog!
I’m in Cebu now and one of the things I have always wanted to do was visit Inkin’ Ian’s Tattoo Studio (Ian Cabrido) . I’ve seen his work online and have heard so many good things from friends who have had their body artworks done by Ian.
The tricky part was making sure I’m in Cebu for a week or so and have no work or beach trips. This having some free time really has some perks like checking off bucket lists.
My foot ink has had a number of permutations. I started with this sun tattoo I had done 20 years ago, then had a poppy flower done in 2013. Today, I asked Ian to enhance and repair the current design and I’m so happy with what he did. The man has mad artist skills.
Ian’s home studio is quite far from Cebu City, around 12 kilometers. Twelve kilometers that’s worth it. I had to take an Uber because in as much as my mother has accepted my tattoo, it’s awkward to say “Mom, I’ll use the driver to go get a tattoo.” I wanted to save myself from the sermon.😂 I’m glad Cebu now has Uber!
Off I went to Krishanta Subdivision, Talisay. It was my first time at the area and I felt like a tourist in my own hometown. It was a 30 minute drive as traffic was not bad at 9 in the morning and I finally got to meet Ian Cabrido, tattoo artist. He’s apparently took up architecture but he’s been pursuing his art. Since Cebu is such a small town,we have tons of mutual friends and even went to the same school ( USC- SAFAD represent!) At least we had a lot to talk about as he worked on my foot. I do a lot of small talk during awkward situations.
Thank God I had a pedicure a few days ago…are my feet clean? Those things pop in your head when someone touches your foot, you know.
The outline hurts the most. It’s the fist thing he did and I think my brain receptors have not gotten the message that I’m in pain and will be in pain. Don’t get me wrong, it’s really not that bad. Brazilian waxes are more painful, I tell you.
Call me a crazy dog woman but I’ve always loved dogs.
I grew up with them and as a child I envisioned myself as the dog queen among our many dogs at home. It came to a point that we had 21 dogs at home. We had dogs of all shapes and sizes and they terrorized the neighborhood for a good 30 seconds every time we opened the gate and just ran back in as the car came in and the gate closed. They acted like a pack and I wanted to be their queen, then I wanted to be a vet until our vet had to put asleep one of our dogs and that kind of put me off.
When I moved to Manila, I never thought I missed having a dog or a pet but I did. I lived alone and was a work most of the time so it wasn’t practical. When I had my daughter, I got her a Shih Tzu and named him Ashley. Then Ashley had a puppy from one of the neighbor’s dog of the same breed and we named him Twirly. We loved both very much and leaving them behind was one of the most painful things I did when I had my annulment. Bea and had no space nor could we afford to have dogs when we initially moved out.
We finally got Vader when everything settled but someone stole our baby. This depressed me for quite a while. It still pains me to see his pictures but we felt it was time for me to have a new baby puppy. We decided to get one from a breeder. Since we decided on a hypoallergenic dog, a Yorkie would be a good choice. My friend Myka who joins dog shows referred the breeder to us and I fell in love with the puppies. The best Yorkshire Terrier breeder in the country it seems. I didn’t know. I just wanted a new baby puppy to love.
No To Puppy Mills
We went to Tiendesitas to check out other dogs months ago and you would only head home feeling bad about the conditions the dogs (and other animals) are in. The Yorkies we looked at were tiny and if you ask them how old these were, they would quickly say 3 months. 3 months yet they couldn’t walk. They were belly crawling on the floor like 4 week olds. Tiny dogs sell and the minimum age for selling a puppy is at 3 months. It was also difficult to determine the actual size of the dogs as the parents aren’t there. Manhandled, scruffy with no parents. Poor doggies
We bought Luna the pomeranian at Tiendesitas and we brought home a puppy with Corona Virus and a lot of Tape Worms. So much tape worms that I felt like she was a piggy bank you could jiggle and worms come out. We spent twice as much for vet fees than what we spent to purchase her. The worst part was the scare of losing the puppy and my daughter already fell in love with her. I am just glad we brought her to the vet for a check-up as soon as we purchased her and was able to literally save her life. We bumped into a friend who bought a poodle on the same day and his puppy passed away 5 days after. Please don’t support these puppy mills – Tiendesitas, Cartimar and the like. They lie to your face about how the puppies are bred, age, condition and even the purity of the breed. Luna is a Pomeranian and we were told she was going to be a toy sized Pomeranian so we paid a premium for the small size. Well, we love her to bits and she’s such a cutie but there’s nothing toy about her size and weight.
Preparing For Our New Baby Puppy
I’ve been waiting for Porkie for a couple of months. The breeder sends us update pictures and she is just adorable. We’ve preparing our home for our new puppy too. We already have her designated area and bought her dog food (we asked the breeder), bed, food and water bowls, leash and collar, shampoo, and toys. We have mentally prepared ourselves for a week of sleepless nights and have cleaned up the crate for initial crate training. Introducing Porkie to Luna may be challenging. Since Vader disappeared, she has been enjoying the alpha dog and only child status. She is quite socialized but I’m sure a little jealousy would come in. We really have to make sure we don’t dote on the little one (Even if I do really want to).
Haay..I really just had to write all of this down because I’m so excited for our new baby, I could burst!
I dread birthdays and mine is coming up in a few days. I’ll be honest, I’m scared of aging. Not just in a physical sense but more of the fact that I really want to grow old with my daughter and pursue the many things I want to do and fulfill in my life. Welcome to my annual birthday blues post.
Wrinkles are fine but I don’t plan to just go without a fight. I will continue to marinate myself with argan oil and rosehip oil every night and slather sunblock every day! Like aged rib eye steak! We shall tap into more drastic methods if we need to! Those botox injections were not just created to stop your armpits from sweating, you know! Though the show “Botched” scares the heck out of me. I think looking like a weird cat woman scares me more than the wrinkling.
What scares me the most would be the lower level of activity in the future as I can already feel my muscles and bones creak because of the lack of exercise. I see articles of 70, even 90 year olds pushing their limits and doing gymnastics and marathons and all I can say to myself would be “What’s my excuse?”.
I guess for the last year of being in my 30’s, I better push myself some more so that I can physically sustain myself for 40 more years or so. Haha.
I have a 12 year old and I had a really bad health scare from 2011 to 2013. It was something we had to overcome as a family and what gave me hope was my little girl. She is turning out to be a very conscientious and responsible young woman and I want to be there for her when she has many more “firsts” in life like stalking her and her date during the prom. I want to continue to support her and reassure her (because she can be quite anxious) when things are not going too well and even if they are doing great. I want to continue to be her biggest cheerleader and ally for as long as I can. Go, Team Bea!
Plans. Sometimes they happen, sometimes they don’t. Either way, it’s nice to plan and dream. My hubby and I have a lot of plans and dreams.
He wants to watch Wrestlemania and I want to try out the restaurants on Man versus Food, be a full time artist or work in the beauty industy and be surrounded by beauty products (Hey, it’s a dream. ).
We talk about them before sleeping at night. I’ve learned to let go of my dreams and just be surprised and happy with what comes my way. It’s so much easier (and less stressful) that way. My husband taught me that. I used to plan and obsess and make sure things happen. Life was plotted on an excel sheet and everything documented and listed down to make sure my plans happened. I lived this way for the longest time and more often than not, I got the things I wanted. You get what you want but it does not necessarily mean you’re happy. I would rather be happy. Still, we plan, prepare what we can and pray it does happen. Hopefully, we have 40 more years to fulfill them.
If there is anything I have not been too happy about, it is the past several years of inactivity. I have learned to fall in love with sleep and just staying home doing nothing. Now, it’s so hard to go back to being active again. It’s so hard to push myself again. Good health it seems is the key to not fearing the aging process. I know I have to start now, before it’s too late and totally give up on it altogether or my body gives up on me.
Haay…If I’m scared now, I will probably have an anxiety attack when I hit the big 4-0.
It’s quite difficult to unplug in this digital world. Our family is extremely active on social media and we consciously find time to drop gadgets and phones to just talk and spend time together. That is until someone brings out a gadget again. We have hobbies like drawing, reading and painting that keeps us away from these things but as a family unit it’s hard to find something in common. We’re not the type who likes board games (Mommy is a sore loser…haha) These are some of the activities we do together: 1) Read the same books and discuss – We all got hooked on the Percy Jackson series. 2) Plant – We live in a condo and it’s a challenge but my daughter and I love checking on our babies everyday.
Bea and the herbs.
3) Drawing day – We spend time drawing with themes or just take time…
It’s been tough to write lately. Not because nothing has been happening but more of the fact that too many things have been happening. The past 3 months feel like the gods have been conspiring against me. They decided to draw lots and picked my name as to who they should torture the most.
I know that this will soon pass. Things would fall into place eventually and karma would hit the people who made me feel terrible big time. When I say big time, I mean have boils grow all over their body, have someone prick every single one and push them in the ocean until every single raw boil gets filled up with painful saline again. Yes, I was that annoyed for a while. That’s even a less painful route. I would have wanted a Game Of Thrones twist and have someone’s head explode into smithereens…and I’ll have a smug smile like Cersei Lannister.
Obviously, I have anger management issues. I do. So I told myself that I shall try to be productive instead of destructive
Since I can’t write coherently right now, I will just do a random list of articles people request me to write about or I want to write about:
Make- up Tutorial for the Lazy Woman– Yes, I might do this and I know I promised some people that I would but I had a really bad allergy attack right on my face a couple of weeks ago. Contact dermatitis so bad that I wanted to walk around with a paper bag over my head. So doing a naked face on the net is not a very good idea..but then,it could go viral..let me think about this.
Allergy Attack from Hades – I’m still battling what has brought me so much hell and torture the past 3 weeks. It’s right smack on my face and I’m not ready to show the pictures of what happened on my blog yet.I have the best dermatologist working on it but I’ll post when I’m healed and back to normal. The pictures you see on Instagram are examples of my bad ass make-up skills with industrial strength concealer. Everyday, I have to spend 30 minutes taking all this gunk off.
Don’t ask “Why not go out without make up? Isn’t it going to make it worse?”. Don’t even go there.
Workplace Bullies – I used to be a bully of the worst kind. Tiny girl with a big voice, words that hurt, chop and dice people and can roll her eyes like there was no tomorrow. I learned and grew up to be what I call a semblance of a better person. Unfortunately, not everyone grows up and there are tons of work place bullies out there. Sad part is that they just learned to be bullies at work..position and new found power does that. Sad..so tempting to crush like a beetle on the hot pavement. So easy to eliminate. Really. But I’m supposed to be a better person now. *sigh* I say better person because really, I can’t be a bigger person. I’m 5.2”. I hate workplace bullies especially if they bully people who matter to me.
Bea’s Art – I’ve posted several of my 10 year old daughter’s artworks and have had several requests to feature them and several order requests (She says she’s not ready to sell yet). I’ll post this on the next article. Hey, I’m a proud mom. Sue me.
Okay..those are some of the things I plan to write about as soon as I get out of this rut I am in. If you have more suggestions of things I should write about, just leave me a note. Maybe it will distract me and make me feel better.
I’m a bit eyebrow obsessed. Fine, that’s an understatement. I spend a considerable amount of time landscaping my eyebrows. Maybe more than an average girl. I was born or some people say “blessed” with pretty thick brows.
If I were stuck in a desert island, the only thing I would bring would be a tweezer because if I get a chance to get rescued, I don’t want rescuers leaving behind the cave woman.
Well groomed eyebrows make so much of a difference. They frame the face and transform one from a frog to a princess..or however that fairytale goes.
So, for a while, my eyebrows were pretty much always in a state of surprise. Not the 90’s overplucked ones but constantly up there. It didn’t help my bitchy resting face.
Then there’s Cara Delevingne. Model du jour. She’s all over magazines, billboards, ads and have eyebrows that deserve their own zip code..and she’s gorgeous.
I decided, if she can do it then I could. For a couple of months, I put down my holy tweezers and just let them grow. Grow, my pretties! Grow! It wasn’t easy..the awkward growth drove my obsessive-compulsive self nuts. And they grew..a lot.
Errr…I wore my furbies this way for a while and eventually realized that I discounted the fact that Cara Delevingne is also as cute as button.
I had pretty mixed feedback about my new pet eyebrows. From ” I love them and they make you look young!” to *silence*. I think they were too polite to say that I should change my name to Hilda or Quasimodo or George of the Jungle…but I could feel it. They judge me, Cathypillar and Lily. I mean who wouldn’t notice those things staring at you?
Eventually, I decided that I wasn’t Cara Delevingne and my pets bothered me. Though, it has uses like make sure I have an entire canopy to keep sweat away. The bush above my eyes just didn’t feel right and I had to grab my holy tweezers and start grooming. This time, more of a compromise between Disney’s Evil Queen and Ariel. I don’t know if I’m making sense. Doesn’t matter…I made an illustration:
Drawn in brows scare me. The kind with the squared off edge and pointy ends. It seems unnatural but hey, those are their eyebrows and not mine. I’m sure they take as much time grooming/ drawing them as well. Best to have a professional like Brow House do your brows if you seem unsure and just maintain what the aestheticians have done. Which should have been I should have done. They say eyes are the windows of the soul and eyebrows frame the face..or something like that. I think I’ll continue to obsess about them till I’m old and they start graying. You really can’t live without them unless you’re Whoopi Goldberg…hmm…that just might be something to think about.
Things have been pretty hectic at work. It also does not help that I have this stomach flu/ bug/virus that makes me run to the toilet as if bees are coming after me. What I do at the toilet..well, it’s not a pretty sight. Let’s just say it comes out both ends. Every few months, I seem to contract a weird stomach virus. I think it’s how my digestive system says “Stop eating,bitch!” It’s really annoying.
You know what else is annoying? The Vhong Navarro – Cedric Dee- Deniece Cornejo issue. It’s just too much. It was fine when they went on TV and all. I mean they have the right to air what happened to the public but having the DOJ and NBI investigating it as if it’s a matter of national security is just a wee bit too much. My opinion on all this: They are all lying. Really. It makes me want to throw up.
For those who are not familiar: Celebrity (Vhong) gets mauled by 6 men including this Cedric Lee at the condo unit of this starlet Deniece while he was basically answering a booty call. Vhong says it was extortion while Cedric and Deniece say he tried to rape her and the other guy was trying to save her or her virtue or God knows what.
Again, I think they are all lying. Anyway, this whole brouhaha has taken over Philippine media and overshadowed the signing of the Bangsamoro Peace Treaty and more relevant news. It’s so bad that the news sites crashed. Everyone has their opinion on everything and everything these two people have done in the condo unit the past few weeks has been revealed. How the guy Cedric is part of some Chinese mafia, how Deniece wears too much blush and need her nail polish fixed.TMI overload.
This whole thing makes me want to the toilet and puke too.