Is It Too Late To Be A Work-At-Home Mom?

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Click on link for full You Tube video: Is It Too Late To Be A Stay At Home Mom?

I’ve been working at home for five months now. I appreciate the fact that I get to spend time with my family and most of all, my daughter. I have been working in pretty hectic jobs the past 20 years and have missed a lot of milestones and even little moments of her life like picking her up from school or cooking for her. I have been able to finally do this now.

A few months ago, someone asked me “Don’t you think it’s too late to be a work-at-home mom and stay with your child?”

That question was difficult to answer. I was torn. My daughter has her own life now and spends time talking to her friends and her world has expanded externally and not just family. She is a budding teen and loves her privacy already. She will always be my baby and that question made me wonder if I made the right decision. So I really pondered over it and discussed it on my video.

 

 

 

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Not A Perfect Mom, Just A Mom Who Tries Her Best & keeps SMART Family Ties

I’m a working mom. I work hard and spend a lot of time at the office, traveling for work and trying to excel at work. I also have no relatives here in Manila. Ergo, if I get asked “Who watches over your child while you’re at work?” A constant question, by the way. I answer “The yaya.” (yaya = nanny)

*insert judgmental look or statement here:_______________.

Slide4I also try to be as hand on as I can and communicate with my daughter regularly throughout the day because again, I am always away at work. We use our smart phones and chat constantly everyday.

I also do not have a tutor. I tutor my child as soon as I get home after a day at work. There are days that I can’t make it on time and I tutor her by remote, through chat.

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Being connected to my daughter and husband is such an important thing to me. I cannot be with them all the time and I know I can’t make up for it but I try my best to answer and reply right away when they need me. Yes, I’m not an ideal mother but no one is, really. I can’t give a lot of motherhood advice or be an expert because I really just try to make most out of everyday with my daughter and this is what works for us.

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I don’t try to be a perfect or best mom, I just want to be the mom who tries her best.

Yesterday, I discovered the SMART Family Ties Plan and it’s exactly what I need. The plan allows me to have postpaid plan at such a reasonable price of PhP900 or PhP1800 with 3 handsets, Unli call and text to family members, Unli text to SMART, 200 All Net Text, 100MB of data per member. Unli call for homework and instructions for what type of paper she needs for her school projects.

When I get the plan, I plan to give one to our nanny for work use a.k.a the daily question I get and dread at around 4:00 p.m. “Ate, ano lulutuin ko pang hapunan?” (What will I cook for dinner?) and will alleviate the stressful “Hindi po ako maka reply, wala ako load.” ( I couldn’t reply, I don’t have load). After all, our nanny is part of our family.

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To know more about the SMART Family Ties Plan:

Don’t stop trying to keep your family together. You don’t have to be the perfect mom, no one is. Be the mom who just keeps on trying her best. It’s what matters to those who matter.

Zee

 

 

Beware The Cranky Mom

I really don’t mind being busy. In fact, I love having a certain level of stress. I used to thrive on a professionally stressful day. I love it but I hate what it does to me. I head home tired, cranky and closed from interaction. My brain just wants to shut down and stop thinking. I don’t even want to sleep, just lie down catatonic.

Today was one of those days. Thus, I bought myself Krispy Kreme. I thought it would perk me up. I was wrong.

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I went home cranky to a happy, perky child who asks me daily “How was your day?” in a sing-song voice. I force a smile and talk to her. I always do even if I just want a quiet home and a soft bed.

But she knows. A child always knows when their parents are not a hundred percent okay. Don’t even think they don’t know. Children can sniff out bad vibes like a pig searching for truffles. They know the way you know that they are up to no good or lied about eating half a dozen cookies. You can pretend all you want and receive a Grammy for your acting but those little munchkins watching Nickelodeon know.

This isn’t new to me. It’s not something new to working moms everywhere. It’s painful to see yourself turn into a cranky woman who wants to snap at them and say “Stop jumping around!”, “Turn the TV volume down!”, “Will someone please stop the dog from barking?!”,”I don’t want to talk!”, “I don’t like the dinner!”, “Why can’t you answer that Math problem? Don’t you listen in school?” So, you really try your best not to do it. Some days, nice mom wins and for other days, cranky mom takes over. Momzilla from the depths of hell.

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Beware The Cranky Mom

It would be easy to just lock the room, not let anyone in and just keep to yourself to recharge and to not harm anyone in the household who gets in the way of cranky mom. It’s easy but doing it will just make you do it again next time, and the next time and the next. Until you’re left with a child, husband and dog who are too scared every time you get home. I don’t want that.On days like this, I try to do the following to feel better:

  1. Take a walk – Walking helps to take away the stress.
  2. Have alone time – Grab a snack (a donut might work for you too) or pray.
  3. Take deep breaths – Try to get back into that relaxed state like a dog (Yeah,I watch too much Dog Whisperer).
  4. Count your blessings and think happy thoughts – Cliche but yeah, this too shall pass.
  5. Go home and hug – Hugs are for healing. Hug your child and husband until you remember that NOTHING in this world is worth hurting any member of your family. Words and being ignored hurts.

I don’t want my child to ever stop asking “How was your day, mom?” I don’t want her to grow up with memories of cranky mom. I tell myself : Beware of the cranky mom. She’s the mom I don’t want to be.

As I work and go home from a stress-filled day, it will always a battle with the dark side and I pray I win everytime.

Zee